"... all my friends are murder...

... all my bones no marrows in..."

I feel a little betrayed. Just a little. My friends have been treating me like sh**t (or is it that I have been feeling like sh**t around them for no apparent reason and all they say/do, I take personally?) for a long time now. At first, it bothered me and made me sad. Now, it just makes me sad. And sort of homesick, only I feel a terrible nostalgia about the people that I don't doubt are my friends... as if I were totally "friendsick" or something.

It makes me wonder... is it me? is it I have changed? ...

Or is it they're just not real friends? (my "option A" to finish this sentence was "a bunch of jerks" --> I don't want them to stumble into this and feel aggravated... not that they read the stuff I write, but just in case)

Guess I'll never know.

This situation makes me feel bored and disconnected. Like an observer or a visitor in a place in which I used to feel safe, happy, comfortable... it plainly sux.

But I'll do nothing, noooothing at all. Deep inside, I want to keep the hopeful idea that this is yet another passing phase in our group dynamics, probably triggered by exhaustion, the ending of a semester, the moon cycles...

If I am right, I'll laugh off this post and get back to "normal".

If I am wrong, I guess I won't lose anything at all.

But as for now, I feel bored, and strange, and sometimes, really sad (sad as hell).

I just needed to put it into words.

andru chose me to play the "game" a really long, long time ago.

the "game" consists of writing eight facts about myself and invite others to do so (about themselves).

so here i go:

* i wish to become a media producer some day

* i love art and cult movies (but have no time to watch as many as i'd like)

* i adore poetry, and have written a few poems

* cold days make me terribly sad, gloomy and particularly depressive

* i believe in angels watching over me and taking care of me all the time

* i fear becoming a mother and not being half as good as mine (or even worse, being a terribly bad one)

* i enjoy singing (and have always wanted to be in a band haha)

* i read cosmo magazine :P

i have no blogger friends to invite to the "game", though.

however, feel free to post ur eight facts when you pass by :D